Dear Mr. Too Much Too Soon,
I think that fro yo is a PERFECT first date. 1. Because I'm obsessed with fro yo 2. Because it leaves lots of room for chatting 3. Because there is no time set on it like dinner 4. Because it's casual, simple. So points for the meeting spot.
Okay... ummm. so. How do I say this? You stare too much. And it's not a normal stare, it's like a "I'm staring into your soul deeply" stare, which is kind of weird, but I could deal with that. Then we started talking of our mutual love for volleyball, which was fun then life and then personality quirks. I love that stuff. We started talking about families, which I also love and you showed me that picture of you with all your siblings full grown in matching Christmas pajamas, fun.
But then, you went on this long monologue about how all your brothers and sisters were married and you were the lone wolf and how wonderful it would be if you could get married. And THEN you started talking about all your qualities that make you such a good man and how you could be such a great husband. (Pause- If you do have these qualities, it will be self evident to the girl, she, hopefully, won't be an idiot so you wont have to spell everything out for her and I always think it's fun to find out a guy's big accomplishments or cool things about him organically...I think most other girls are the same) You continued to brag about how you can't wait to be a boyfriend, to love on someone, how any girl would be treated like a princess if she dated you... And I played it off like it was a normal thing to talk about on a first date because I'm good at that. And I redirected the conversation elsewhere.
But... not for long. You soon started talking about the journal you wrote for your future wife that you will give to her on your wedding night. Awkward much?! Seriously, you didn't think that is weird? And then, you proceeded to describe how you write every valentines day and how you will treasure her forever. I hoped that was the end. Nope! We had to have a detailed history of your latest breakup. Oh dear. This is the moment when I'm glad I'm having fro yo, so I started searching for a reason to leave. I pretended to have another meeting I forgot about. And I think you bought it... or pretended to. Just when I thought I was home free, you lingered by my car to talk about something that I wasn't even listening to because I was trying to find the first pause, so I could leave. And you hugged me for what seemed like FOREVER! ah! Help me random person walking by!!! When I texted you that night that I wasn't feeling it, you sent a lot of those "give me a chance" themed texts. What you have to learn is when a girl strait up says no, it probably isn't gonna happen. The end.
In the future, don't even talk about ANYTHING relationship or future related on a first date. Talk about something else, literally anything else, make something up if you have to. It was too much too soon and that sends out a huge red flag. If you limit that nonsense you will highly increase your chances of a second date. But hey, the fro yo was amazing at least.
Sincerely,
The fro yo girl
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