Dear Mr. Boring

Mr. Boring and I met online. He was one of the first dates I went on. Disappointing to say the least.

Dear Mr. Boring,

It's funny to me because I think you were nervous the first time we talked on the phone, but I thought it was cute. We had great phone conversations and then we skyped, which by the way, it was SOOO obvious you were just checking me out the whole time. Skype to you was a test of... is this girl as cute in person as in her pictures. Obviously, I passed your stupid test. We met up for Rubios because that is the extent of your creativity and we talked about nothing. It was SOOOO boring! I just remember straining my brain for topics and trying to think of anything... that never happens to me. Your one word answers didn't help. Maybe I'm too dominant for you? Anyway you look so different in person than you do on skype. Oh the irony! You look waaay shorter and you have fish eyes sir. Yes. You know those gold fish with the puffy big eyes on the national geographic magazine. That's what you reminded me of. And so, there was just no physical attraction. You seemed like you were miserable even though I tried to make everything as non awkward as possible. You weren't helping. And then it got super weird when we had Rubios for like 30 mins and then you walked me to the parkinglot. "Well, what now?" you said. I gave you PLENTY of suggestions and I even suggested the beach, which is free. We small talked a little more before you totally ignored all my suggestions and got in your car to go home. Lame! Anyway, thank God I previously made other plans to get pho with my girlfriends, totally talk about the horrible date I just had and then we learned Psy's Gangnum style dance. That was way more valuable than any time we would have spent together.

But, THEN!!!! ah! Wait for the next one. I thought it was obvious how not into me you were, so I was surprised to get a text from you three days later: "So, I guess that's a no? huh?" WHAT?!!! Seriously?? YOU were the one who didn't want to hang out with ME after Rubios. Why are you even texting me??? I'm so confused. And so I told you so. I think I did say almost exactly that. And you never responded again. Yeah, that's what I thought. I called it and the fact that you didn't respond confirms my suspicions. That's right! I called you out bud. Looking back at all the dates I went on, yours was the biggest waste of my time. It was the one date I wish I avoided. I think about it and it was just "icky." Boring. yawn. Sorry, but you were also kind of arrogant and that's my pet peeve.

Sincerely,

A girl that just wants to have FUN!