Dear Mr. Attractive Horny Nerd

I met Mr. Attractive Horny Nerd online after messaging for a couple weeks. He goes to school close to where I am so we met up for coffee after his class ( which was after I kissed one guy on another date, drove home, changed, redid make-up perfume and ran out the door again...literally, but he didn't know that)

Dear Mr. Attractive Horny Nerd,
I actually loved the first impression you gave. Your blue eyes are deep and understanding. Tall, brunette, nice jawline, attractive, confident. You are very intelligent, which is totally a turn on for me. we had a great intellectual conversation and laughed and joked a lot. I actually thought it was kind of cute that you wore tennis shoes with jeans. Chemistry. That's what you were studying I think. Anyway, we wanted to keep hanging out after the coffee shop kicked us out. It was cold, so after talking outside for a while we retreated to your car and chatted. It was so cute that hand slap game we played. I've loved playing that game since I was a kid. Then, almost out of nowhere, your hand grabbed mine...romantically. My heart started pounding. I was afraid to look in your eyes, so I nervously smiled. When I did, your hand went to my jaw and then you leaned in to kiss me softly. It was so sweet and exciting. We did kiss for a little while. Just sweet and nice and I was excited about going on a second date with you.

Okay, it's weird to send a girl questionable text messages about how all you want to do is kiss her ALL the time, especially after you've been on just one date... ewwww. I was dumb at the time and just thought you were really into me.. but yeah. Don't do that in the future. Also, the second time we hung out was at a Carls Jr. I mean, I get it. You're a student, but really? I actually didn't mind that much until what happened afterward. We had such a normal nice conversation in the Carls Jr. Then you wanted to go sit in your car. Okay, whatever. Except talking was code for kissing, which even that was okay... and THEN!!! SERIOUSLY!!! YOU ARE SO HORNY. You like... skipped a bunch of steps and started to unbuckle your pants and try to seduce me, which was scarring to be honest.I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU really so Duh! I'm going to jump out of the car so fast and politely tell you I never want to see you again, which is so disappointing, because I actually did like our chats. why did you have to RUIN it???? Anyway, you're dumb and I'm sorry for that poor girl that has to put up with your shenanigans. Girls are not just for sex, don't know where you got that from.

Sincerely,
Not that kind of girl