Dear Reader,
Now, I have to be honest with you darling reader. As you have surveyed the many men I've dated, strange and fun alike, you are probably like, "wow, girl. wow. That's a lot of guys in 8 months" And I get that a lot... It doesn't bother me. I liked the adventure and the attention, I was bored and in a new city without the active social life I am used to, so I created it for myself and honestly, I have no regrets. I learned so much about myself and about men in general. I was able to target the specific traits I want in a man.
Also, I have a confession to make. The men that I have adored most deeply are not included these afore-written letters. There are some things in life that are too deep, too real and too vulnerable to put online in writing. I have moved on and am very happy where I am at. But the men that I speak of are the ones that I keep my eye on. Maybe you have some of your own. Men with a history somehow weigh heavier in your heart. These are the men that I watch from a distance because every man hates a clingy gal. And I wait. If they want me, they will find me and if not, some other wonder in a suit will come into my life. So, in the meantime, I do my own thing. These men have been very deep and wonderful and the most confusing parts of my life, but that's because they are the best ones and ironically enough, I actually did not meet them online. Maybe... just maybe, that could be saying something.
Thank you for reading. For now, this concludes the blog... unless I start dating anytime soon hehe
Sincerely,
A writer... that crazy girly writer
Monday, September 9, 2013
Dear Mr. Friend
Mr Friend and I met online.
Dear Mr. Friend,
I am so glad that we have similar career goals and that our relationship wasn't sabotaged by romance. You are so refreshing to talk to and the only one from my online dating experience that I am in touch with. I have a feeling that we will be friends for a very long time and I am grateful. Thank you for all your advice, encouragement and help with my dreams. Looking forward to our next coffee or lunch to discuss life. Um, don't know what else to say? Guess I'll say it in person next time I see you :)
Sincerely,
That girl who actually is just a friend... amazing!
Dear Mr. Friend,
I am so glad that we have similar career goals and that our relationship wasn't sabotaged by romance. You are so refreshing to talk to and the only one from my online dating experience that I am in touch with. I have a feeling that we will be friends for a very long time and I am grateful. Thank you for all your advice, encouragement and help with my dreams. Looking forward to our next coffee or lunch to discuss life. Um, don't know what else to say? Guess I'll say it in person next time I see you :)
Sincerely,
That girl who actually is just a friend... amazing!
Dear Mr. Tentative
Mr. Tentative and I met online. He was one of the first guys I started talking to and one of the last guys I dated before I was finished with all of the shenanigans. So we dated the longest. I was also the most serious about him. We almost dated in real life... so this letter might be a book haha, you've been warned.
Dear Mr. Tentative,
Breath. Okay. I remember seeing your profile online and being so excited because you were tall dark and handsome... and did I say tall? 6' 6" was it? Anyway, we started talking and I suppose I got lucky because I was the only one you really actually met in person from the site. I remember we met at downtown Disney at the Jazz Cafe and just talked all things family, life, friends, funny stories and we clicked so quickly. We came from such a similar background and that was sooo attractive to me. My theory is the most you can have in common as far as the background and upbringing is concerned the less likely discrepancies will occur about the bigger decisions in life. Granted we had similar families and both of us loved the families we came from. I also met someone that was as family-oriented as I was and you'd be surprised at how difficult that is. Haha, I remember I blew off another guy to go on a date with you... wise choice in retrospect.
One of my favorite traits about you is your spontaneity. I remember getting a phone call from you the night before and you saying you were going to take me on a coffee date in the morning. That was another cool thing. You always said, "I'd like to take you on a date." I just liked how you would use the correct terminology and refer to it as a date instead of "hanging out" like the other lame-os. Thanks. Also, you always picked the place. :) You'd have an idea in mind and a plan all set. That is so sexy, you don't even know. A man who can make a decision, who has an opinion and can put something together.
I remember going out to breakfast and the Asian waitress saying that we were the most beautiful couple she's ever seen. That lady probably gets good tips haha. I remember when we sat on top of the hill overlooking the sparkling lights that represented life below and having a great life chat while eating the pomegranates you brought for us. I remember walking on the beach at night while enjoying the cider you prepared for us with ALL the toppings... soooo cute! We looked out at a rig and pretended it was an alien ship and then we met that one drunk guy hahahaha. I liked being engulfed in your arms by a huge hug. Precious.
We were having so much fun and things were progressing slowly, which was refreshing because all the other guys kept trying to kiss me the whole time... oh yeah, not sure if you knew I was dating more than one person at the moment haha. sorry, I don't think you're the type who would have taken it well. I did however fizzle out all the guys until I was only dating you... and this is going to sound so dysfunctional, but I hated that! When you're dating a few guys there is always someone willing to give you attention. But, waiting for your texts made me kind of get upset with myself. Ugh. I feel desperate waiting for a reply. I hate that I feel desperate. You wouldn't text me for days and then all the sudden you'd say, "this is what we're doing. I miss you." I think part of it is that you don't know how to really handle girls. You haven't had that much experience, but I think that's kind of a cute asset. You were very conservative and that was adorable as well.
We even got to the point where we met each other's families and everything went so well. My mom raved and raved about the flowers you brought her and the gift you brought for the family. My siblings adored you because you were so much fun. My family was all about it. And I liked your family too. They were routy and competitive and traditional like we were. I hit it off with your parents and your grandma is so stinkin' funny. Really. That was a crazy weekend. I met your family, you met mine and then.... pause... waiting... nothing... We even talked about it and still nothing progressed. Maybe you're the type of person that takes a relationship very seriously and you knew you weren't ready as much as everything else lined up. That makes sense, I suppose.
So, if things we're going so well, why did everything come to a halt???
1. Long distance, and by long distance I mean 2 hours away. I learned something very important about myself. When I get a boyfriend we will need to be close and able to be present in each other's lives. This girl has MAJOR issues with long distance and the communication kinks it brings. In fact, I think a long distance relationship is a form of torture, it sounds absolutely miserable to me and I don't think I'd ever do it for real. I'm far too artistic or emotional or however you decide to label it.
2. Remember, I wanted to hang out with you on Valentines day and you said you couldn't because you were doing something with your mom... REALLY? If you weren't so innocent, I wouldn't believe you. I mean, it's cute that you actually are that kind of guy. However, I can't spend forever fighting with your mom for time with you on Vday. like for reals. That was super annoying and a huge wake up call.
3. You couldn't finish things or complete them and this was what actually ended everything for me. It was rough to watch you go through the application process for your dream job and quit at the end. I loved listening to your dreams and the things you wanted to do in your life. They were fun, huge things that I could attach to and support, but I couldn't help but think they would never happen because of your lack of follow-through. I remember you talked to me about asking my dad if you could date me before we became "official" and I waited months and that NEVER happened. You had a habit of making plans, beginning them, yet never finishing...including your bachelor's degree. I wasn't going to make a big deal about it because it's not the end of the world, but it's something that YOU wanted and you gave up on yourself. It's terrible to watch. So I decided I couldn't be attached to that. It was too much watching you forever almost finish things or make "tentative" plans. It was exhausting and so disillusioning especially considering your advanced potential and ability to do whatever you want. I say that truthfully. You could have your pick of careers. everyone who meets you falls in love with you! And I see why. You are genuine with a giving heart, solid integrity, developed character and a fun personality. You, however, lack the diligence or motivation to complete a task. Or maybe you get scared at the end? I didn't make an exact conclusion. Anyway, we are still friends on face book and we have each others numbers, so I might give you a couple years to get it together and figure out what you want to do, to complete some things and if you still think of me, I might be here. I say might because I could be living in New York or Paris like I've always wanted to...Oh, that was another thing. You were nailed to the ground. You didn't want to travel all over like I did. You thought that sounded crazy. I get that. It's not for everyone.
An almost.. a very close, but no dice. I am grateful to have known you, you are a kind gentleman. Thank you for a wonderful time and who knows? ...
Sincerely,
Miss Finish Line
Dear Mr. Tentative,
Breath. Okay. I remember seeing your profile online and being so excited because you were tall dark and handsome... and did I say tall? 6' 6" was it? Anyway, we started talking and I suppose I got lucky because I was the only one you really actually met in person from the site. I remember we met at downtown Disney at the Jazz Cafe and just talked all things family, life, friends, funny stories and we clicked so quickly. We came from such a similar background and that was sooo attractive to me. My theory is the most you can have in common as far as the background and upbringing is concerned the less likely discrepancies will occur about the bigger decisions in life. Granted we had similar families and both of us loved the families we came from. I also met someone that was as family-oriented as I was and you'd be surprised at how difficult that is. Haha, I remember I blew off another guy to go on a date with you... wise choice in retrospect.
One of my favorite traits about you is your spontaneity. I remember getting a phone call from you the night before and you saying you were going to take me on a coffee date in the morning. That was another cool thing. You always said, "I'd like to take you on a date." I just liked how you would use the correct terminology and refer to it as a date instead of "hanging out" like the other lame-os. Thanks. Also, you always picked the place. :) You'd have an idea in mind and a plan all set. That is so sexy, you don't even know. A man who can make a decision, who has an opinion and can put something together.
I remember going out to breakfast and the Asian waitress saying that we were the most beautiful couple she's ever seen. That lady probably gets good tips haha. I remember when we sat on top of the hill overlooking the sparkling lights that represented life below and having a great life chat while eating the pomegranates you brought for us. I remember walking on the beach at night while enjoying the cider you prepared for us with ALL the toppings... soooo cute! We looked out at a rig and pretended it was an alien ship and then we met that one drunk guy hahahaha. I liked being engulfed in your arms by a huge hug. Precious.
We were having so much fun and things were progressing slowly, which was refreshing because all the other guys kept trying to kiss me the whole time... oh yeah, not sure if you knew I was dating more than one person at the moment haha. sorry, I don't think you're the type who would have taken it well. I did however fizzle out all the guys until I was only dating you... and this is going to sound so dysfunctional, but I hated that! When you're dating a few guys there is always someone willing to give you attention. But, waiting for your texts made me kind of get upset with myself. Ugh. I feel desperate waiting for a reply. I hate that I feel desperate. You wouldn't text me for days and then all the sudden you'd say, "this is what we're doing. I miss you." I think part of it is that you don't know how to really handle girls. You haven't had that much experience, but I think that's kind of a cute asset. You were very conservative and that was adorable as well.
We even got to the point where we met each other's families and everything went so well. My mom raved and raved about the flowers you brought her and the gift you brought for the family. My siblings adored you because you were so much fun. My family was all about it. And I liked your family too. They were routy and competitive and traditional like we were. I hit it off with your parents and your grandma is so stinkin' funny. Really. That was a crazy weekend. I met your family, you met mine and then.... pause... waiting... nothing... We even talked about it and still nothing progressed. Maybe you're the type of person that takes a relationship very seriously and you knew you weren't ready as much as everything else lined up. That makes sense, I suppose.
So, if things we're going so well, why did everything come to a halt???
1. Long distance, and by long distance I mean 2 hours away. I learned something very important about myself. When I get a boyfriend we will need to be close and able to be present in each other's lives. This girl has MAJOR issues with long distance and the communication kinks it brings. In fact, I think a long distance relationship is a form of torture, it sounds absolutely miserable to me and I don't think I'd ever do it for real. I'm far too artistic or emotional or however you decide to label it.
2. Remember, I wanted to hang out with you on Valentines day and you said you couldn't because you were doing something with your mom... REALLY? If you weren't so innocent, I wouldn't believe you. I mean, it's cute that you actually are that kind of guy. However, I can't spend forever fighting with your mom for time with you on Vday. like for reals. That was super annoying and a huge wake up call.
3. You couldn't finish things or complete them and this was what actually ended everything for me. It was rough to watch you go through the application process for your dream job and quit at the end. I loved listening to your dreams and the things you wanted to do in your life. They were fun, huge things that I could attach to and support, but I couldn't help but think they would never happen because of your lack of follow-through. I remember you talked to me about asking my dad if you could date me before we became "official" and I waited months and that NEVER happened. You had a habit of making plans, beginning them, yet never finishing...including your bachelor's degree. I wasn't going to make a big deal about it because it's not the end of the world, but it's something that YOU wanted and you gave up on yourself. It's terrible to watch. So I decided I couldn't be attached to that. It was too much watching you forever almost finish things or make "tentative" plans. It was exhausting and so disillusioning especially considering your advanced potential and ability to do whatever you want. I say that truthfully. You could have your pick of careers. everyone who meets you falls in love with you! And I see why. You are genuine with a giving heart, solid integrity, developed character and a fun personality. You, however, lack the diligence or motivation to complete a task. Or maybe you get scared at the end? I didn't make an exact conclusion. Anyway, we are still friends on face book and we have each others numbers, so I might give you a couple years to get it together and figure out what you want to do, to complete some things and if you still think of me, I might be here. I say might because I could be living in New York or Paris like I've always wanted to...Oh, that was another thing. You were nailed to the ground. You didn't want to travel all over like I did. You thought that sounded crazy. I get that. It's not for everyone.
An almost.. a very close, but no dice. I am grateful to have known you, you are a kind gentleman. Thank you for a wonderful time and who knows? ...
Sincerely,
Miss Finish Line
Monday, September 2, 2013
Dear Mr. Almost Perfect
Mr. Almost Perfect and I met online and chatted a little before meeting up.
Dear Mr. Almost Perfect,
The funny thing is that I didn't expect to like you half as much as I did. I scheduled a coffee date with you one evening in between visiting one of my good guy friends (but for real, he is just a friend). And coffee chatter just went so well, too well. Not only are you deep and kind and gentlemanly, but mature and fun and nerdy in the sexiest way possible. We ended up talking for hours and I pushed meeting my friend back a little. Haha, remember how you asked about the wine bottle in my car? It was because I was taking it as a house warming present later haha, never mind. I just remembered that and it made me laugh to myself.
We met up again. And you picked this very price-y sushi place where we had amazing sushi and I tried saki for the first time, then we drove around and talked. You turned to me and said you didn't want the night to end, so I took you to my secret lookout spot and we jumped that fence haha, we stared at the entire valley with all the lights twinkling their brightest and you leaned in and kissed me... and kissed me and well, you remember ;). It was so romantic kissing on top of the world-- one of my favorite dates of all time.
I also really liked those few rendezvous where you would catch me right after work and we would go off and just talk the evening away. We even resented the green traffic lights because the red ones meant we could kiss longer. I went away for a week and I actually missed you while I was gone. The times I visited you were just as magical, walking hand in hand by the beaches in the evening, we just knew each other.
And we went to that one bar. There was this moment when I was talking and you kissed me mid sentence. "I'm sorry, I just can't help myself, you're so beautiful," you said. Anyway, you always made me feel special and I had never kissed anyone at a bar top before, so fun. I felt I had known you forever and you were always so respectful of my boundaries, especially physically and I appreciated that.
I liked you hair and your jawline and the little smirk you got as you opened the door for me and that smile right as you leaned in to kiss me, I liked that you always were open about how you felt and honest about where you were at, I liked that you were responsible and a good communicator, that you had a real job and you were so giving. Mostly, I liked your heart, how genuine and giving and gentle you were. So considerate. And, to be honest, a lot of people don't believe in my career goals, they think I'm frivolous and stupid for choosing what I chose so it was very refreshing to meet someone that was soooo supportive. And thanks for setting up my website even after we stopped dating. It shows the depth of your character and the value of your word. I know you will go places in this world because..well, you already are successful and you are so loveable as a person;I'm sure everyone adores you. I often feel that you are the man that got away.
We were very honest with each other as we ended it. We had some core religious differences. You were in "torture" I think the word was because you couldn't sleep with me and you just couldn't do it anymore. Drama king. It's funny because you're the one who actually ended it. I remember saying goodbye and then crying afterwards, which surprised me. I didn't even know that I liked you THAT much. And it took me a good two months to get over you, which was unusual for me in the strange binge dating subculture I was in.
We already told each other all that we liked about one another and knew that it couldn't continue so better to end sooner rather than later. I wasn't ready for it to end yet. I deleted my account and stopped to think for a month because you shook me a little. I hadn't liked anyone that much in a while and I could actually see us together long term. Do you know how unusual that is?? For me??? Anyway, any girl will be lucky to be yours someday and I hope you stay your sweet self. As for me, life is good, simple, I get to pursue my passions and you are happier when you do what you love anyway. ugh... Why did our beliefs have to be soooo different?? GRRR!!!
Sincerely,
That California Dreamer
Dear Mr. Almost Perfect,
The funny thing is that I didn't expect to like you half as much as I did. I scheduled a coffee date with you one evening in between visiting one of my good guy friends (but for real, he is just a friend). And coffee chatter just went so well, too well. Not only are you deep and kind and gentlemanly, but mature and fun and nerdy in the sexiest way possible. We ended up talking for hours and I pushed meeting my friend back a little. Haha, remember how you asked about the wine bottle in my car? It was because I was taking it as a house warming present later haha, never mind. I just remembered that and it made me laugh to myself.
We met up again. And you picked this very price-y sushi place where we had amazing sushi and I tried saki for the first time, then we drove around and talked. You turned to me and said you didn't want the night to end, so I took you to my secret lookout spot and we jumped that fence haha, we stared at the entire valley with all the lights twinkling their brightest and you leaned in and kissed me... and kissed me and well, you remember ;). It was so romantic kissing on top of the world-- one of my favorite dates of all time.
I also really liked those few rendezvous where you would catch me right after work and we would go off and just talk the evening away. We even resented the green traffic lights because the red ones meant we could kiss longer. I went away for a week and I actually missed you while I was gone. The times I visited you were just as magical, walking hand in hand by the beaches in the evening, we just knew each other.
And we went to that one bar. There was this moment when I was talking and you kissed me mid sentence. "I'm sorry, I just can't help myself, you're so beautiful," you said. Anyway, you always made me feel special and I had never kissed anyone at a bar top before, so fun. I felt I had known you forever and you were always so respectful of my boundaries, especially physically and I appreciated that.
I liked you hair and your jawline and the little smirk you got as you opened the door for me and that smile right as you leaned in to kiss me, I liked that you always were open about how you felt and honest about where you were at, I liked that you were responsible and a good communicator, that you had a real job and you were so giving. Mostly, I liked your heart, how genuine and giving and gentle you were. So considerate. And, to be honest, a lot of people don't believe in my career goals, they think I'm frivolous and stupid for choosing what I chose so it was very refreshing to meet someone that was soooo supportive. And thanks for setting up my website even after we stopped dating. It shows the depth of your character and the value of your word. I know you will go places in this world because..well, you already are successful and you are so loveable as a person;I'm sure everyone adores you. I often feel that you are the man that got away.
We were very honest with each other as we ended it. We had some core religious differences. You were in "torture" I think the word was because you couldn't sleep with me and you just couldn't do it anymore. Drama king. It's funny because you're the one who actually ended it. I remember saying goodbye and then crying afterwards, which surprised me. I didn't even know that I liked you THAT much. And it took me a good two months to get over you, which was unusual for me in the strange binge dating subculture I was in.
We already told each other all that we liked about one another and knew that it couldn't continue so better to end sooner rather than later. I wasn't ready for it to end yet. I deleted my account and stopped to think for a month because you shook me a little. I hadn't liked anyone that much in a while and I could actually see us together long term. Do you know how unusual that is?? For me??? Anyway, any girl will be lucky to be yours someday and I hope you stay your sweet self. As for me, life is good, simple, I get to pursue my passions and you are happier when you do what you love anyway. ugh... Why did our beliefs have to be soooo different?? GRRR!!!
Sincerely,
That California Dreamer
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